Once you’ve read this headline, the rhythm of the song should start coursing through your mind. The band Salt-n-Pepa already knew in the early 90s what is truly “word“. Talking about sex is not only cool but just as sexy. The last doubters were silenced when Samantha and Co. arrived on the scene in the successful TV series “Sex and the City“. Concrete tips and shamelessly direct statements to men and women turned those New Yorker ladies into models of an open approach to sex. Just think of the classic line, “Sweetheart, when it comes to sex, talking is silver, a blow job is gold!“
Generally, especially women seem to need to talk about their thoughts and wishes about sex and their sexuality. The pioneer of all public TV sex talks – Erika Berger. We can remember back to her beautiful long legs, perfectly crossed, the red telephone receiver at her ear. In this position, she polarized German living rooms in the late 80s. Perfectly naturally, Erika Berger addressed topics for the first time in public, like blow jobs, erection disorders, affairs and answered – completely unruffled by the outrage – with interest and understanding the most off-the-wall and embarrassing questions from her audience.
And not only has the spoken word come along. You can also say “Let’s write about sex“ when you look at the bestseller list in recent years. Books like “Wetlands“ and the S&M trilogy “Fifty Shades of Grey,“ which turned out to be a runaway hit, filled cinemas and even became trendy enough for Hollywood. A clear sign that society at least female society has reached a point where an open approach to sexuality in all its facets is accepted in the media as well as talking openly and honestly about sex in private.
But is the age of whispering and silence really over? Handling sex topics is certainly more open today than before. Yet according to the latest full on LOVE survey 15% or women and 20% of men have not once spoken openly with their partner about their fantasies and needs. The desire is there however – 21% of women and 27% of men would like to privately discuss the topic more openly. The worry about negative feedback is still great however.
Talking, sharing wishes, preferences and fantasies is a big sign of trust and brings partners closer together, binds them and releases a new phase in their sex life. Why not just try it? Without talking to each other (even when many people want it), your partner often can’t know what transports you into 7th love heaven. Talking about your own sexuality may seem for some shameful at the start or just strange, but you know the saying – practice makes perfect!
And if the result rewards both partners, next time it will be much easier and with time can even become a part of the erotic foreplay.
I am full on LOVE, …
… because there is nothing as crazy as love and sexuality – out of this world honest, real, exciting and indispensable.